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Dysfunctional Relationship

Dysfunctional relationships are relationships that create more emotional turmoil than satisfaction. Relationships are part of the human experience. But what happens if one or both partners have never been involved in a happy relationship, or had one modeled for them as a child? Chances are they will participate in a dysfunctional relationship.

Has your relationship stopped moving forward, always seems to be plagued by arguments, and you just can’t connect anymore? Many couples go through rough patches, so before you go labeling yourself as a dysfunctional couple, make sure you are aware of all the recognized symptoms that make up a dysfunctional relationship.

Some individuals believe that the only way to be truly happy is to find Mr or Ms Right. These folks believe that if they are alone, they will undoubtedly be lonely. It should be understood that many people who have others around all the time, are still lonely. This is especially so of the individual that remains in a problematic relationship. Being in a relationship does not ensure that a person will be happy.

Problems arise when people in dysfunctional relationships do not understand the differences between the sexual system and the in-love system. The in-love system is what causes your heart to skip a beat when you see your partner. It also causes you to think about and pursue one particular person at a time. This is what establishes monogamous relationships. Sexual arousal, on the other hand, is not partner specific. It is about getting sexually excited in response to physical, mental, or emotional stimulation.

People who get into parent-child relationships have an intense need to recreate or compensate for the relationship they had with their own parent. Regardless of the psychological reasons behind this kind of relationship, in most cases this substantial “re-parenting arrangement” tends to reinforce the dysfunctional behavior — enabling, fantasy, ambivalence, confusion, guilt projection, double-bind messages, hostility and chronic negativity.

Indeed, despite the fact that Wuthering Heights was offered up to the public as a novel written by a man, critics met it with stern objection. Reviewers decried Wuthering Heights as unnatural. One reviewer could not imagine how anyone could have contemplated such a take without eventually committing suicide. Imagine what they would have thought if they had known that Ellis Bell was really a young woman.

A family session with the four children revealed their hurt. The son asked his Dad to play sports with him. The daughters wanted him to spend time with them too. They believed that they were not important to him. When Stan said they were, I reminded him that action speaks louder than words. The expression on his face showed me that he knew I was speaking the truth.